Sunday, February 7, 2010

We love our despotic world leaders

Ring the bells! It's a Match Pricks Caption Contest! Why? Why the hell not. And besides, assigning absurd personalities to goofy world leaders is fun. Especially when you link them to football.

As our longtime readers know (heh, that was kind of ridiculous), we love to take pot shots at the 'leaders of the world'. Most of it stems from the Beijing Olympics.

There was this fabulous shot in the stands of former President George W. Bush in the
stands with his wife Laura, demure as ever. Ol' George was on the homestretch of his, ah, administration, and was ready to let loose a little. That tie of his was looser than the brush he loved clearing away back in ol' Texas. Those sleeves of his were rolled so hastily us Match Pricks were convinced Joachim Loew's official Sleeve Roller must've been unavailable. (yeah, that was a stretch, whatever, I wanted to work it in)

So there he was, watching China versus the United States in hoops. Someone on the American team posterized Yao Ming and ol' George reflexively leans clear across Laura, who froze with a look of horror, as ol' George pointed right in the face of the Chinese official sitting just to their left. Now, realize some assumptions were made for the sake of entertaining discourse as we were watching that game. Among them,

  1. The Chinese official must have been Chinese President Hu Jintao.
  2. What United States of America President George W. Bush actually said to Hu Jintao was "Ha! In your face, Jintao! Take that you dirty little red!"
Again, they were assumptions. People forget how things were so long ago. I think, given the tone of the times, they were safe assumptions.

At any rate, that was right around the creation of Match Pricks. One thing led to another and we ended up sticking it to Jintao, Putin and the rest straight on through. One fellow who didn't fall into our crosshairs too often, though he certainly deserves it, is ol' Ahmadinejad. Well, step right up, buddy. I'm gonna go ahead and enter this picture, plucked from The Telegraph, for some reckoning.

I'd love to hear your own captions for this masterpiece. So please, let 'er rip in the comments. We'll pull together a listing of the best. The possibilities are endless. No prizes save an ego boost and even more adoration from us.

I'll start.

"Huh? I can get Pompey for how much?"


Valery said...

For me, Sponge Bob Square Pants 3D never gets old. Roll it again Mahmud!

Kevin said...

"Oh no, the old man is going to give the fat kid the grape soda cap merit badge, he's doing it, I can't watch..."

Kevin said...

...and to your right we have the new line of Member's Only jackets.

Kevin said...

"I'm wearing goofy glasses and in Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country."

Valery said...

In Iran we have character similar to Gallagher, except in Iran he is called executioner, and instead of watermelon he squashes the heads of opposition leaders. Should be good show, can't believe we got front row seats for this, is someone going to pass out the raincoats?

Jim said...

"Oh, wowee! This really do work. I can see all the way through her burqa!"