Tuesday, September 2, 2008

City thumps its (community) chest

As if the Robinho signing wasn't enough, there's this little bit of insanity from City's new, Emirates-based overlords.

"What? Robinho? That's just the start son!" Check out the list: Ronaldo, Fabregas, Torres, David Villa, Henry, Old Ronaldo.

That's right, Dr. Sulaiman Al-Fahim of the Abu Dhabi United Group spits at Real Madrid's awesomely hilarious Ronaldo pursuit from this summer. City's taking both Ronaldos! Maybe Al-Fahim has trouble differentiating between them, so to be safe, he's going to buy the 1990s Ronaldo and the 2Ks Ronaldo.

The best part, though, is the £135 million for (New) Ronaldo. Why not just promise to bid "a jillion" pounds for him? I like how the good doctor here makes it a ludicrous number, but yet one that isn't "a jillion," so there's just a tiny hint of plausibility to it. "Nice try, Calderón. Now get out of my way, you Madrid trash, and watch how a really obscene rich guy bids for Ronaldo."

Again, this is all just so much flapping of the gums, but just having the audacity to come out and say these things is a real kick. Sphincters are tightening in boardrooms across England and the continent. Since money grows from the ground like grass where Al-Fahim is from, who's to say they wouldn't just get stupid and say, "Hey, Liverpool, here's £60 million. Now give us Torres." The idiots Hicks and Gillett would likely take it. When you're collecting players like trading cards, what's to stop a phone call to Barça offering £20 million for Henry? Of course they'd take it.

It's almost like a guy wearing two diamond-studded watches when he goes out, then going with bottle service so he pour that vodka on some hot girl's chest. It's dumb, but he really wants you to know that he can afford to be that dumb.

'Eh, whatever ... City fans, soak it up. You'll live high on the hog here for a couple years, and you'll likely have a few laughs along the way. Just think: Both Ronaldos!


Carl said...

This was the most surprising thing in my life since that one fateful morning when Amy said I'm preggers.
Jesus Citeh richer than Chelsea? What the crap, Colin gets his own place and they get a oil-mad tycoon group. I need to take a nap or drink heavily. What a week!

Carl said...

Also upon further review, what the Gallaghers think? Not the melon smashing feuding brothers, but the song writing feuding brothers? That has to get them a bit stiff seeing City "inheriting" more money than John McCain's trophy/piggybank wife Cindee. Jesus, life has lost the plot.