Back where it all begins: 'I would not sell Madrid a virus'

This might seem an odd sidebar, the Ronaldo-to-Real Madrid saga, during Match Pricks derby week, but it's important to remember that the hilariously batshit-insane Ronaldo transfer rumors this summer were one of the inspirations for Colin and me to take this thing to the Web.

Colin had brought up the idea for an Arsenal-Liverpool blog in the past, but we needed a tipping point, so to speak. That tipping point could be found in e-mails like the following. Yes, let's peer back into the pre-Match Pricks era and examine an e-mail I sent to Colin on June 23:

"However, I have to bring up a little "Ronaldo saga" detail that they include in every one of those stories that I always really enjoy: the fact that Fergie refuses to cut short his holiday in the south of France to address this issue with Ronaldo. I'm not even sure what the guy does in the south of France that is so restorative. Do you just hang out with super-rich friends who own a vineyard or villa or something? How do you not get recognized? You're Fergie, after all. Anyway, he's on holiday in the south of France, stubborn ol' cuss to the very end that he is, refusing to bend to the will of the Portuguese prima donna. "Eh, he'll still be there when I get back. Pour me another glass of cabernet, Jacques."

Greatest summer transfer drama of all time. And of course, Zizou after the Spain match yesterday comes out and says Madrid gets whoever they want and it'll be great for them when Ronaldo goes there. I seriously want to see some scribbler at one of those papers call and get comment from someone who really has absolutely nothing to do with it at all. Like Angela Merkel, during halftime of the Germany/Turkey match. Just stop her in the hall and see what she thinks about this Ronaldo mess. Or somebody should ask Derek Jeter or something. Let's just take it into true Looney-ville now."

Well, Looney-ville is back, dogg. After some Real prick somewhere blabbed about some kind of secret deal, Fergie felt it necessary after United defeated Gamba Osaka in the FIFA Club World Cup (HA!) to clear the air over Ronaldo. This is so awesome it's worth admiring:

"Do you think I would enter into a contract with that mob?" he said. "No chance. I would not sell them a virus. That is a 'no' by the way. There is no agreement whatsoever between the clubs."

I love it! Honestly, I hope this goes on for four years or something. I cannot get enough of the crybaby, bitch-ass Ronaldo and his desire to play for Real Madrid, and then Fergie cranking up the indignant poses for the media every time something gets leaked to a Spanish paper. It's just awesome and endlessly entertaining.

OK, we now rejoin Match Pricks derby week, already in progress.