Shirtless Putin's Boxing Day match extravaganza preferred pick of the week

Like many professional athletes, Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin has a raging, outsized ego. When not busy or otherwise preoccupied with pulling the strings on recreating Stalinism in the 21st century, Putin, seen here shirtless, fancies himself a connoisseur of Premier League football.

Because the ice-cold blood that pumps through Putin's black heart prevents the observance of warmth and merriment, there is no Christmas holiday for him. Rather, Putin is excited only about tomorrow's full Boxing Day fixture list. He is particularly eager for Chelsea's home match versus West Brom, as another failure to take the full points by Scolari and Co. would give him another reason to revoke certain privileges for Roman Abramovich, such as breathing.

Shirtless Putin's Boxing Day top pick – his beluga caviar of the day, if you will – is Aston Villa at home against Arsenal. Key players are injured for both sides, and a possible sea change in the natural order of the league is in the offing. Dissenters must be eliminated. Shirtless Putin can't wait.