Fergie, shut your mouth!

I clearly remember a few years ago going on a rant, imploring Manchester United and Sir Alex Jintao to get a hold of their players. He needed to get them under control, much in the same way we needed it out of Jose Mourinho when his players put in disgraceful display after disgraceful display of referee confrontation, intimidation and terrible stall tactics (anyone remember when they were about five minutes late to come out after halftime?).

Today, we've got the so-called "respect" campaign in full swing. The FA expect players to show more respect toward match officials. Right. Watch any match in the premier league at the moment and you'll see just how well that is working. Any single team, no one is immune. However, there are some that do indeed show themselves to be quite a bit more self-important than the others. It seems as if the players deem themselves to be chosen. By their very position in life, wealth, position in the league, and their manager's rhetoric, they are above everyone else. "Well, no, my dear, those rules don't apply to theeem! Surely you're mistaken, I mean, you know who I am, right? I assume you saw me on television, of course."

In particular, I'm casting my piercing glare further up the road to Old Trafford where yet again the players are empowered by their manager's silence as they run rampant across the pitch to pressure match officials. The way Ronaldo throws himself around the pitch, the way Rooney physically threatens officials whenever he dislikes a call, the way Nani (a relative nobody) postures and preens, the way Rio Ferdinand's face nearly explodes if he's ever deemed to have actually broken the laws of the game ("No! Rio, it couldn't be, not Rio!" Oh wait, never mind - dumbass.), the way they rush up to the official and grab him from behind to try to make their point (I can only imagine it's markedly unintelligible). Again, other teams are guilty, yes, but Manchester United push the envelope to the very brink while their manager sits back and whistles dixie - and at the same time he continues to call out other teams in every way shape or form. Is the man completely invulnerable to attack, slander, criticism or even a slap on the wrist?

Now this today as Sir Alex Jintao levels his tongue yet again and offers comments that will likely slide away into the void and add another layer of polish to the alternative reality he's so masterfully constructed over 20 years. The sad thing is that people keep buying it (except for the guy who tried to kick him in the yarbles, he ain't buying shit). 

Here's a thought, how about keeping your players in order, you intolerable nit. Your players prance around with an utterly holier than thou approach and for once, one of them is brought down to Earth and - shock! horror! - actually punished, and you launch yet another parade in astonishment. You might also consider keeping your mouth shut, or even letting it run only about yourselves, instead of constantly prattling on about everyone else's business. Whether you agree with the suspension or not, this newest (and slightest) ill to befall that dirty old man is summed up with one word, folks ...

Jintaodenfreude