Throw that window open!

Jintao, that nasty little commie, tried his best to rain on our parade, suck away all our fun and keep the transfer window closed but fortunately Sepp Blatter, Michel Platini and their thugs forced him away from the window frame and threw that puppy wide open.

Let the madness begin!

I'll just cut right to it. Here's what I want to have happen for the Arsenal to turn things around - impractical as it may be ... whatever though, man, my New Year's Resolution, alongside keeping it real for free people everywhere and representing for those not-so-free (that means you Chengdu, China), is to always keep dreaming.

Sell Bendtner. He looked capable of breaking through last year but has looked off the pace and moody since. He's young, has bags of goals at the International level and should catch a couple of million pounds. He's surplus for us right now. We can do better.

Sell Gallas. I needn't say very much here. He's been poor, in spite of his big goals. He's 31, and apparently he's not fitting in with Kolo Toure, a man who has been a more than dependable servant for Arsenal. Kolo should be able to regain his form, just a few months off of malaria.

Buy Arshavin. This kid is pure class. He's got that knack, the extra vision and understanding, that makes for a special player. He was sublime at the European Championships last summer. He's 27 so he brings an added edge of experience in a tougher-than-we-think league. Put him in the "Bergkamp Role" behind the striker. He can change a team, and hold the place until Jack Wilshire is ready, provided he's as quality as we're being led to believe. And there's no way he'll cost as much as 20 million pounds. That's ludicrous. The price should fall.

Buy Arteta. Losing Fabregas to an injury could completely derail our season if we don't react quickly. Mikel Arteta has been (with apologies to Joleon Lescott and Tim Cahill) Everton's best player for a couple of seasons now and he fits the role we need. That he comes from a Premier League team is important.

Buy a Holding Midfielder. I don't care if you blow the dust off of Didier Deschamps, just get a holding midfielder on the pitch, please! Lacking a "steamroom" has hijacked our team and defense all season thus far. Mathieu Flamini's influence, importance and absence cannot be overstated at this point. There's an abundance of options. Make the move, Arsene.

Buy a Central Defender. We need a body. We need quality. We need experience. Not asking for too much here, am I? As I've said in the past, where is our Nemanja Vidic? Our Skrtel? Djourou is showing signs of turning into a player and could be our man and Kolo can reestablish his form, but we still need another player here. 

We have two of the very best backs in all of England in Gael Clichy and Bacary Sagna. Support them. Allow them to flourish.

We have two wingers (albeit one out injured for another month) who can terrorize teams, and who will continue to get better, in Samir Nasri and Theo Walcott. Support them. Allow them the space to roam, create and impact games as they've already shown they can.

We have one of the world's very best players in the middle of the park in Cesc Fabregas. He'll miss most of the rest of the season and we must pick up the slack. Arteta can be that player. When Cesc is back, there's nothing wrong with having both of them. In fact, it'd be brilliant. Adding an industrious holding midfielder to do the work that buffers that playmaker is vital. Aaron Ramsey might be the man for this job, but he's still a boy. Adding experience for the time being will not block his path.

Our strike force is still relatively unproven over the long haul. We can look to Adebayor, Robin van Persie and, when he's healthy, a blossoming Eduardo (although we must be careful not to ask too much of him after the injury). Adding a player of Arshavin's quality will make the others look that much better.

Not asking too much, am I?