Never trust an evangelical Brazilian who cashes paychecks written by this guy

CAPTION: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi demonstrates to a group of his fellow, much-less-well-off countrymen how he's going to wish Kaká well as soon as City's check clears.

Silly me, on Wednesday I trusted the word of a good-natured boy who takes his marching orders from Jesus. Instead, today's reports show Kaká was just kicking off a playful – and wholly virginal, mind you – bit of footsie with Manchester City about a £100 million (or £91 million, or £95 million) move to Eastlands in the next two weeks.

At this point, who knows? The whole thing is fading out incredibly fast. It has nowhere near the staying power of the consistently gut-busting "Ronaldo to Madrid" talk from last summer. Now that was an absurd transfer rumor. My guess is Kaká plays this out right to the end. His camp even floats a few "terms have been agreed" rumors in the press, somebody even reports on Jan. 30 that the deal will be announced within hours, and then lil' Ricky triumphantly declares to an adoring throng that he was flattered by City's tempting and generous offer, but his heart is permanently ensconced in Milan. Berlusconi gives him a pay bump and the whole thing is forgotten by the time Liverpool and Chelsea kick off at Anfield on Feb. 1.

And if you're tempted to try and overthink this thing, just remember a key player in this whole thing just a few months back was seen doing this: