Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Somebody needs to wash these windows

I'm losing my juice to blast Sir Alex Jintao today. It's Tuesday, he remains an infuriating ass-hat, and Colin got into him six kinds of Free People Everywhere already, so there's a couple of transfer window items I just can't let be.

Straight from the headlines:

• N'Zogbia wants to leave Newcastle. And Duff. And Given. And Martins. And probably most folks who call Tyneside home, too. In other news, sun rises in East. Pope Catholic. Bear shits in woods. Film at 11. Seriously, I could look at that headline every few hours for a week. There's just a simple little humor in that I find rewarding.

• West Ham reject £9 million-plus bid for Craig Bellamy, with some reports having Upton Park valuing him at £15 million if Manchester City wants him. Ho, ho. That's a hoot. Liverpool buys him a few years back for £6.5 million, and though he almost single-handedly beat Barcelona at the Camp Nou in the Champions League and his "Rat" character ("Whaaaaaat?!") was a hoot in our then-regular battle for 4th, he showed his true colors and disappointed. He gets sold on to West Ham for £7.5 million – a high number I couldn't believe at the time – and now somehow his value has doubled. Worldwide recession? What worldwide recession? Hey, we've seen this little theater show before. Every few years, Bellamy rounds into form, bags a quick bunch of goals and then tricks a new club into a large fee. But £15 million? That's £4.5 million more than Liverpool paid for The Director, and a total still reserved for towering giants of the game, like what Everton paid for Marouane Fellaini, you know?

(Special free comedy bonus: Click that Everton-Fellaini link for a comical comparison to the engine room of the most dominant Premier League side of all time.)

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