Sunday, February 8, 2009

E-boooooo-'im off the bloody pitch and off the bloody squad

Business first. Great stuff from Jim and Liverpool down below, scroll away. What a result for them yesterday. Have you heard about this Torres kid? I think he'll be alright in this league. I mean, it's tough to adjust to a new league sometimes, but I think he'll be alright. Right, moving on.

Decorum. Must show decorum. Must. For the kids. It can be done, right? Deep breath, big gulp and a little bit of f%^&ing decorum. (slams fist)

My word we're a pendulum over here at Match Pricks at the moment, aren't we? (editor's note: in a straining effort to display a level of decorum and civility here, please realize that this post likely took about 40 minutes longer to write than you'd imagine. That having been said, to understand what I'm actually restraining myself from doing, go ahead and insert of few of those magic words before each noun or verb you come across. Consider it your very own Match Pricks mad lib. Go ahead, be creative. Thank you for your patience and understanding.)

Arsenal just fought for a very tough singular [ example number one, see above ] point at White Heart [ example number two, see above ] Lane against [ three ] Spurs who are, in case you haven't [ four ] noticed, in a fight against [ five ] relegation for [ six ] sake. And why was it so [ seven ] difficult? Because Emmanuel [ eight ] Eboue, in spite of all of his efforts and his running and his [ nine ] whinging, went and got himself [ ten ] sent off - AGAIN. [ ELEVEN ]

[ Twelve ] Spurs! And that singular point now sees Arsenal sit a full five points behind Chelsea for fourth place and - as of the halftime at Upton Park as Manchester United and West Ham United take care of their business - 11 points adrift of the league leaders. But all of that is [ thirteen ] beside the [ fourteen ] point. The point is that Arsenal, with Alex Song and Emmanuel Eboue in the middle are woefully de [ fifteen ] ficient.

Some points need to be made though. Samir Nasri worked his socks off. Everyone watching with me noted how gassed he was around the 60th minute. Beyond that, I think plaudits are due for the back four, particularly in the middle where Kolo Toure and William Gallas put in an assured performance. Giving Toure the armband in Cesc's absence could have be looked at as a no-brainer given his service to the club, but still, it was a massive decision.

Kolo has been fantastic in years past and we've all noted his slip in form this year. In the last couple of weeks, I have to say that he's displaying leadership and a particular verve - quite a bit like Robin van Persie has done. Other laurels to dish out? To Gael Clichy for getting half of his head torn off to clear an airborne threat and for this tackle to eliminate an open threat.

But for Eboue? You know what? A friend of mine (and Match Pricks comment regular) has a saying when things start to get a little heated. He'll have already dished out the proper warnings and admonishments (decorated with a delicately perched eyebrow) and then comes the second of calm and clarity, followed by, "That's enough." If you still push it you'll get one final gusto, "That's e-f%^&in'-nuff." 

Please hear me Emmanuel Eboue. At this point, "THAT'S E-[ SIXTEEN ]-NUFF."

I'm tired, and I'm sure the entire team are as well, of everyone having to carry you. I know you mean well. I know you're a good person and you care. I get that. What I don't get is how you simply refuse to make adjustments. The manager's hand is forced. He has no options left and he's had to turn to you, in good faith, to prove that you're mature enough to take the field. At this point I don't even care if you make a difference. I know you're gonna run and maybe chip a ball in the box. All I want is for you to [ seventeen ] behave, [ eighteen ] shut your [ nineteen ] mouth and [ twenty ] keep yourself on the [ twenty-one ] pitch!

And I got up at 5: [ twenty-two ] 30 in the morning and drove 90 minutes on three hours of sleep with pounding head cold and cough to [ twenty-three ] be there!

You like that? I ended nice and tidy like on 23. That was just for you, Andrei. Welcome aboard, we'll see you soon.

Final sidebar - I got chills when Eduardo was warming up on the touchline. He'll be back soon, folks. And if every last one of you doesn't get on your feet and applaud that man I can't be held responsible for my reaction. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you Jintao. And yes, I see you at the back of the room Silvio, Putin and Jiabao. Don't think I've taken my eyes of you for a second.

1 comment:

Carl said...

What Eboue did today was the complete opposite of a professional. Seriously how could anyone let down their side worse than this. We need the points and he runs his mouth for a first yellow, then give a dirty hit for the second. He needs to go to the reserves for awhile cause Eduardo should be fit now. Plus Arshavin is waiting in the wings to lend a helping hand. Not get stupid cards and completely be an arse.